i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
