What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
