Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he fucked my hip out of place.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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