Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
