Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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