Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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