i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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