do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
