We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
