I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dicks are not precious.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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