if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize