Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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