She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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