You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize