He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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