I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
