Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
