If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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