It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
