I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
