I can text with my tongue
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
