I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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