There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
