so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
