I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
