I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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