My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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