Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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