i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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