are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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