Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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