): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
