I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I didn't notice because vodka
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
