Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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