It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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