Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
