my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
