I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize