So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
