You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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