It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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