I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
