FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
