Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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