You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
