Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We left the knife in your bed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
