You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
