u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize