I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize