i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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