I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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