the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Holy sore nipples Batman
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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