Your dad touched me again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
