I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
