just tell him i said nine months
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize