we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
