Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
