The maid of honor just puked.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
