Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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