Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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