Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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